At least 70 million Americans suffer from a sleep disorder with insomnia being the most common. Some studies estimate that nearly 50% of the population worldwide have experienced insomnia at some point in their lives.
While tossing and turning, wishing for a good night’s sleep may be frustrating, some people have found a way to laugh about this antagonizing disorder.
Keep reading for 101 humorous, sometimes dark, thought provoking quotes about insomnia and sleeplessness.
1. “The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.”
W.C. Fields
2. “Insomnia is only mind over mattress.”
Jane Ace
3. “Do you know that awesome feeling when you get into bed, fall right asleep, stay asleep all night and wake up feeling refreshed? Me neither.”
Unknown
4. “Most people do not consider dawn to be an attractive experience—unless they are still up.”
Ellen Goodman
5. “Many bad days were preceded by a bad night’s sleep.”
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
6. “Dear 3am, we have got to stop meeting this way. I would much rather sleep with you.”
Unknown
7. “I’m not an insomniac. It’s just that my mind is in the best position to catch the weight of all hovering possibilities the moment I lie down.”
Joyce Rachelle
8. “I asked my psychiatrist how he cured his insomnia. He said he changed his phone number.”
Daytona
9. “Insomniacs exaggerate the pleasures of sleep.”
Marty Rubin
10. “Insomnia is very common. Try not to lose any sleep over it.”
Unknown
11. “I’ve got a bad case of the 3:00 am guilts – you know, when you lie in bed awake and replay all those things you didn’t do right? Because, as we all know, nothing solves insomnia like a nice warm glass of regret, depression and self-loathing.”
D.D. Barant
12. “Insomnia has this romantic way of making the moon feel like perfect company.”
Sabrina Benaim
13. “Insomnia: A contagious disease often transmitted from babies to parents.”
Shannon Fife
14. “Due to tonight’s lack of sleep, tomorrow has been canceled.”
Unknown
15. “Insomnia is a glamorous term for thoughts you forgot to have in the day.”
Alain de Botton
16. “Brain: I can see you’re trying to sleep; can I offer a selection of your worst memories from the last 10 years?”
Banana Yoshimoto
17. “I think insomnia is a sign that a person is interesting.”
Avery Sawyer
18. “Early to bed and early to rise makes a person dull, boring, and despised.”
Ernie J. Zelinski
19. “The best cure for insomnia is a Monday morning.”
Unknown
20. “His insomnia was so bad, he couldn’t sleep during office hours.”
Arthur Baer
21. “I have a condition that makes me eat when I can’t sleep. It’s called Insom-nom-nom-nom-nia.”
Unknown
22. “I’m an insomniac, my mind works the night shift.”
Pete Wentz
23. “Insomnia: Inability to sleep until it is time to get up!”
Unknown
24. “Anyone who has never experienced insomnia cannot be taken seriously as an individual.”
Simon Brass
25. “In their previous lives, poets were bats, and thinkers were owls.”
Michael Bassey Johnson
26. “Nothing is louder than overthinking after midnight.”
Unknown
27. “What you don’t worry about gives someone else insomnia.”
Evan Esar
28. “The last refuge of the insomniac is a sense of superiority to the sleeping world.”
Leonard Cohen
29. “Error 404 sleep not found.”
Vishal Surelia
30. “Not being able to sleep is a nightmare.”
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
31. “You can drink yourself to sleep but not think yourself to sleep.”
Marty Rubin
32. “Look on the bright side insomniacs, at least your insomnia keeps most of the spiders out of your mouth.”
Unknown
33. “I’m not an insomniac. It’s just that my mind is in the best position to catch the weight of all hovering possibilities the moment I lie down.”
Joyce Rachelle
34. “You’re like a dream I never want to wake up from, but I; I’m insomniac!”
Ahmed Mostafa
35. “Insomnia is the act of pushing through sleep to achieve the art of insane creativity.”
Todd Stocker
36. “I prefer insomnia to anesthesia.”
Antonio Tabucchi
37. “If the world leaders can afford a 7 hours’ sleep, most of us probably can too.”
Pawan Mishra
38. “Insomnia has this romantic way of making the moon feel like perfect company.”
Sabrina Benaim
39. “I want to sleep but my brain won’t stop talking to itself.”
Unknown
40. “I haven’t been to sleep for over a year. That’s why I go to bed early. One needs more rest if one doesn’t sleep.”
Evelyn Waugh
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41. “It is a common experience that a problem difficult at night is resolved in the morning after the committee of sleep has worked on it”
John Steinbeck
42. “Laugh and the world laughs with you, snore and you sleep alone.”
Anthony Burgess
43. “I’ve always envied people who sleep easily. Their brains must be cleaner, the floorboards of the skull well swept, all the little monsters closed in a steamer trunk at the foot of the bed.”
David Benioff
44. “Sleep is the interest we have to pay on the capital which is called in at death; and the higher the rate of interest and the more regularly it is paid, the further the date of redemption is postponed.”
Arthur Schopenhauer
45. “Some people can’t sleep because they have insomnia. I can’t sleep because I have internet.”
Unknown
46. “Insomnia is a gross feeder. It will nourish itself on any kind of thinking, including thinking about not thinking.”
Clifton Fadiman
47. “Sleeping is no mean art: for its sake one must stay awake all day.”
Friedrich Nietzsche
48. “The amount of sleep required by the average person is five minutes more.”
Wilson Mizner
49. “A ruffled mind makes a restless pillow.”
Charlotte Bronte
50. “Sleep: a poor substitute for caffeine!”
Wallace Shawn
51. “Insomnia is my greatest inspiration.”
Jon Stewart
52. “Nothing tests a marriage more than insomnia or snoring.”
David Linley
53. “INSOMNIA = 1:51 A.M. + ETERNITY + 1:52 A.M. + ETERNITY + 1:53 A.M. + ETERNITY”
Unknown
54. “The only time I have problems is when I sleep.”
Tupac Shakur
55. “There are twelve hours in the day, and above fifty in the night.”
Marie de Rabutin-Chantal
56. “My mind decides to run when normal people sleep.”
Unknown
57. “Not being able to sleep is terrible. You have the misery of having partied all night… without the satisfaction.”
Lynn Johnston
58. “My day starts backwards … I wake up tired and go to bed wide awake.”
Unknown
59. “Don’t fight with the pillow but lay down your head and kick every worriment out of the bed.”
Edmund Vance Cooke
60. “Between the midnight and the morning: on a given day, that’s the hardest stretch of time to fill.”
Luis Joaquin M. Katigbak
61. “Insomnia is a glamorous term for thoughts you forgot to have in the day.”
Alain de Botton
62. “It appears that every man’s insomnia is as different from his neighbours as are their daytime hopes and aspirations.”
F. Scott Fitzgerald
63. “Due to unfortunate circumstances, I am awake.”
Unknown
64. “Due to tonight’s lack of sleep, tomorrow has been canceled.”
Unknown
65. “That’s the advantage of insomnia. People who go to bed early always complain that the night is too short, but for those of us who stay up all night, it can feel as long as a lifetime. You get a lot done”
Banana Yoshimoto
66. “Insomnia is just another word for chit chat with the demons during bedtime.”
Daniel Saint
67. “The hardest thing is to go to sleep at night, when there are so many urgent things needing to be done.”
Donald Knuth
68. “There will be sleeping enough in the grave.”
Benjamin Franklin
69. “My nights are for overthinking. My mornings are for oversleeping.”
Unknown
70. “Insomnia can be a gift. More time for reading, writing, and walking. More time to live.”
Luigina Sgarr
71. “Insomnia is the act of pushing through sleep to achieve the art of insane creativity.”
Todd Stocker
72. “His impatience for sleep often frightened that very sleep away.”
Hugh Howey
73. “I’m awake and I can’t sleep. The more I’m awake, the more I see, and the harder to sleep.”
Donna Lynn Hope
74. “Deer sleep, I know we had problems when I was younger… but I love you now.”
Unknown
75. “Nighttime is really the best time to work. All the ideas are there to be yours because everyone else is asleep.”
Catherine O´Hara
76. “A little insomnia is not without its value in making us appreciate sleep, in throwing a ray of light upon that darkness.”
Marcel Proust
77. “How do people go to sleep? I’m afraid I’ve lost the knack.”
Dorothy Parker
78. “Sleep comes more easily than it returns.”
Victor Hugo
79. “When you have insomnia, you’re never really asleep, and you’re never really awake.”
Chuck Palahniuk
80. “The night is the hardest time to be alive and 4am knows all my secrets.”
Poppy Z. Brite
81. “You know you’re in love when you can’t fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.”
Dr. Seuss
82. “Insomnia is the violence of the night over a man.”
Victor Marie Hugo
83. “It is better to sleep on things beforehand than lie awake about them afterward.”
Baltasar Gracian
84. “It appears that every man’s insomnia is as different from his neighbors as are their daytime hopes and aspirations.”
F. Scott Fitzgerald
85. “Insomnia is just another word for chit chat with the demons during bedtime.”
Daniel Saint
86. “Insomnia haunted me like regret.”
K. Weikel
87. “Whoever says sleep equals laziness is probably a bitter insomniac.”
Joyce Rachelle
88. “In its early stages, insomnia is almost an oasis in which those who have to think or suffer darkly take refuge.”
Sidonie Gabrielle Colette
89. “Sleeplessness is a desert without vegetation or inhabitants.”
Jessamyn West
90. “The worst thing in the world is to try to sleep and not to.”
F. Scott Fitzgerald
91. “I hate it when my foot falls asleep during the day, because that means it’s going to be up all night.”
Steven Wright
92. “He would lie in the bed and finally, with daylight, he would go to sleep. After all, he said to himself, it is probably only insomnia. Many must have it.”
Ernest Hemingway
93. “What rich or strange idea was ever the work of a sleeper? In those weird hours, out of sync with the rest of the world, his singular creativity flourished. The experience wasn’t much fun, but it was real.”
Gordon Marino
94. “I think the most common cause of insomnia is simple; it’s loneliness.”
Heath Ledger
95. “What keeps you awake at night? I have no clue, but I’m sure as hell that it’s not love.”
Darshan Pania
96. “You know what, the rest of you may hate your insomnia but I’m not sure I want a cure for mine. That’s when I get all my best ideas… I’m alone, occasionally… with no distractions. My mind is racing with creative ideas and come 3am I feel like a genius.”
Theo
97. “I don’t think my insomnia is fixable. I think it’s in my DNA.”
Toyah Willcox
98. “It is a special kind of homelessness to be evicted from your dreams.”
Karen Russell
99. “The worst things: to be in bed and sleep not, to want for one who comes not, to try to please and please not.”
Proverbs
100. “The night is long and insomnia drags out memories That whirl downstream.”
Ludwig Zeller
101. “I will not sleep until I find a cure for my insomnia.”
Unknown
